It was clear that Kronos, even from birth,
Was different from others here on this earth.
Twas born with a fully formed adult human head,
Complete with facial hair and an a gift for embeds.



While most kids would dream about fortune and bling,
Young Kronos would settle for no less than King.



Becoming a King was no small undertaking,
While other kids frolicked out under the sun.
Just to be clear, without any mistaking,
This task would be tough for the chosen one.



Now Kings of this time were largely antiquated,
Impotent relics of empires before,
But the brand of King Kronos was by destiny fated,
Was written in tomes of Arthurian lore.

Marry a princess? Conquer a kingdom?
Options that Kronos felt way too untowared.
How did King Arthur become so damned kingsome?
Oh yeah, he would need a big magical sword.

So he sought out a Lady who lived in a lake,
Who possessed a sword of magic rare,
But whenever he tried to schedule a date,
She told him she'd been planning to wash her hair.




It vexed him greatly, that a lady so fair
Who lived deep within a watery trough,
Would constantly need to wash her hair.
'Hey dickhead! I think she's just blowing you off.'

Ego bruised and left in the lurch,
Kronos needed another sword fast.
So he took to his feet and went out in search,
Of the infamous 'Sword In Blankfist's Ass'.



Blankfist was handsome, his frame manly and thick,
He kind of resembled a young Ewe Bol.
But tho Kronos did pull with all of his might,
Alas, Blankfist's small sphincter was just way too damned tight.

Kronos shouted to the heavans, "Why was I born,
I will never be King, from my fate I've been parted"
So he retreated to alcohol and internet porn,
slumped on his couch where he often farted.



But 'twas there on the nets he discovered some-thing,
A site run by Dag called the 'VideoSift'
On this site it was possible to become a King,
Provided you post enough video clips.

So post them he did, all night and day.
(Except for that month when there was a rift.)
Now his destiny fulfilled, I am proud to proclaim,
Kronos: King of VideoSift!







____________________________________________________________
Kronos Gallery
____________________________________________________________

From Blankfist:

Kronos Strolling

From dft:

Kronos Demon Spawn

From marinegunrock:

Beergut

From thegrimsleeper:

Cute Couple

From Sarzy:

Classy King.

From Thinker247:

Glory Hole

From Dag:

Won't you join me in my quest?

From rasch187:

kp loves fish

From Eklek:

A man of many members

From Zonbie:

King KP